Talking Head Syndrome is where an author does not include anything besides two or more people talking to each other. In real life, we are constantly aware of what is going on around us even while talking to other people, and we seldom sit still like statues. When characters do nothing and notice nothing around them, it makes the scene feel hollow. Thankfully, Talking Head Syndrome is easily fixed using a couple of techniques that will also enrich your story and characters.
Talking Head Syndrome Avoidance Technique #1: Action Beats
My favorite way to mitigate the problem of Talking Head Syndrome is to give my characters something to do while they are talking to each other.
Take this dialogue:
As Janet slithered gracefully into the cavernous closet, Millie stepped over to a floor-length mirror. She ran a shaggy hand through the long, chestnut fur on her scalp.
“Janet,” Millie asked, “are you coming to the party tomorrow?”
“Of course!” Janet said. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world! I don’t know what to wear, though. What do you think everyone else will be wearing?”
“It’s casual, isn’t it?” Millie said. “Just a regular suit, I’d think.”
“Yes,” Janet answered. “But I could still get away with some jewelry, right?”
Millie laughed. Janet couldn’t resist going out in public encrusted like a bejewelled serpentine statue. “I think you should try something more subtle. How about your new No-Makeup Tiara? It’s so flattering but not ostentatious.”
“Do you think it’ll go well with my green space suit?” Janet asked.
Pretty silly, I know, but it’ll do for this illustration. Notice how if I took out the first sentence, the two characters could be sitting in a dining room or a hangar bay or on the moon and you wouldn’t notice? There’s also no indication of what the rest of their bodies are doing, either.
Now read this version:
As Janet slithered gracefully into the cavernous closet, Millie stepped over to a floor-length mirror. She ran a shaggy hand through the long, chestnut fur on her scalp.
“Janet,” Millie asked, “are you coming to the party tomorrow?”
Janet stuck her head out of the closet and rolled her eyes at her friend. “Of course! I wouldn’t miss it for the world! I don’t know what to wear, though. What do you think everyone else will be wearing?”
She slipped back into the closet, running her fingers over the various suits, all slick and luminescent. Her fingers lingered on a green one that would look rather striking against her russet-colored scales.” She slipped back into the closet, running her fingers over the various suits, all slick and luminescent.
“It’s casual, isn’t it?” Millie picked up a flower clip from the dressing table as she thought for a moment, and stuck the decoration between her sharp teeth. “Just a regular suit, I’d think.”
“Yes,” Janet answered. Her fingers lingered on one of her more casual green suits. It would look rather striking against her russet-colored scales. “But I could still get away with some jewelry, right?”
Millie laughed. Janet couldn’t resist going out in public encrusted like a bejewelled serpentine statue. Millie pulled the clip from her mouth and stuck it in the wavey locks by her ear. She cocked her head, admiring the effect in the mirror. “I think you should try something more subtle. How about your new No-Makeup Tiara? It’s so flattering but not ostentatious.”
“Do you think it’ll go well with my green space suit?” Janet asked as she pulled the tiara off its shelf and placed it atop her scaled head. She tapped a concealed button and in the blink of an eye, her face transformed just as effectively as if she’d spent an hour carefully applying a dozen products to her face.
By sticking action into the scene, you not only create a more interesting sequence but also are able to flesh out their characters a bit more. Instead of being two friends talking about a party, this scene is now two girly aliens interacting with the world around them and excitedly getting ready for a party.
Sometimes this is more difficult to pull of, such as when characters are discussing politics, relationships, or info-dumping. My favorite way to handle this is to still give the characters something to do with their hands, such as cooking, playing a game, or putting a machine back together. It allows you to add another layer to the characters and their world while still avoiding Talking Head Syndrome.
Talking Head Syndrome Avoidance Technique #2: Gestures
Another method you can use to avoid making your characters seem bodiless is to have their bodies do something: gestures and expressions. If you want to show what someone is feeling, it’s more effective to use gestures to convey the emotion.
For example:
“You never listen to me!” Ray shouted at his father. “I know I’m only thirteen! That doesn’t mean I’m stupid! I know what I’m doing!”
“Go to your room until you can calm down.”
“But–“
“Now! Unless you want to be grounded!”
“You can’t ground me! I need to practice my landings! If I don’t, Captain Withers will fail me!”
“Then I suggest you get to your room now!”
vs:
“You never listen to me!” Ray’s face flushed. His body was rigid, his hands balled into white-knuckled fists. “I know I’m only thirteen! That doesn’t mean I’m stupid! I know what I’m doing!”
Ray’s father ran his thick, oil-stained fingers through his white-streaked hair. “Go to your room until you can calm down.”
“But–“
“Now! Unless you want to be grounded!” Ray’s father jabbed a finger down the hall.
Ray’s mouth dropped open. “You can’t ground me! I need to practice my landings! If I don’t, Captain Withers will fail me!”
Ray’s father took two steps towards the boy. He towered over Ray, quivering with barely-contained rage. “Then I suggest you get to your room now!”
Notice how the emotions conveyed by their gestures and expressions add another layer to the scene?
This is also a great way to avoid using adverbs, particularly after “said.” Instead of saying “Ray said angrily,” we get a much more visceral depiction of his anger without actually needing to say he’s angry.
For a wonderfully extensive list of expressions and gestures, check out this website: 400+ Ways to Exploit Facial Expressions in Writing.
Warning: Don’t overuse gestures. This is a hard one for me (and a lot of other authors). I have a handful of gestures that I use a lot and I naturally put them into my writing too often. The downside of this is that when we are reading about characters’ expressions instead of seeing them with our eyes, we process them differently. An arched eyebrow might be an expression that we associate with a dear friend, and thus might be endearing. But the phrase “an arched eyebrow” is not as endearing as our friend and quickly outstays its welcome.
When you find that you keep repeating the same expression over and over again, try to figure out what the emotion is behind the expression that you are trying to convey and then find another expression that can convey the same emotion.
Pulling it all together
By using these different techniques together, you can avoid Talking Head Syndrome and enrich your story at the same time.
Other Resources:
Talking Heads Avoidance Device – C. S. Lakin (livewritethrive.com)
