This month, I had every intention of writing a large portion of my next book as part of NaNoWriMo 2022. Any ideas how many words I’ve managed to write?
12,504. Not exactly my most stellar word count.
So why have I struggled to write this book when I was able to churn out over 70,000 words in April when I wrote the first book?
Impostor Syndrome
Impostor Syndrome is when you feel completely inadequate at something and that at any moment, you’ll be discovered as a fraud. That’s how I feel about writing right now. Who is going to read my book? Why should they like it? What a joke I am that I think I can write and put my books out on a marketplace next to the likes of J.R.R. Tolkien, J.K. Rowling, George R. R. Martin, and Brandon Sanderson. When there are so many other fantastic writers out there pumping out masses of brilliant books, why would anyone want to read anything that I’ve written?
I feel as though the people I’ve told about my writing must be laughing at me behind my back. I seriously doubt that anyone will even find the Kindle ebook of my book if and when I do finally publish it. After all, no one knows about the short story that I published a few years ago, despite my attempts at marketing it. There are billions of Kindle ebooks on Amazon’s marketplace. Why would anyone think that my poor pathetic attempt at a self-published book is worth even opening?
And finally, I’ve set up a website to market my writing and to give a few tips to others who might be starting out on their writing journey. Impostor syndrome strikes again! I haven’t even published a single novel yet. Even when I do, why should anyone listen to a writer who has published a book that no one has ever read?
Accept that Writing is Hard and Publishing is Harder
So what am I going to do about this? My dream is to publish an epic fantasy story with a truckload of books in it, and I can’t do that without figuring out a way to actually put one foot in front of the other and producing an actual book.
My first step is to accept that I’m suffering from impostor syndrome and that that’s ok. Writing is hard and publishing is even harder. There are real emotional risks to putting yourself out there. It is completely possible that no one will read my work. It is also possible that someone might find the book and hate it. But if I don’t finish what I’ve started, if I don’t push forward, then I’ll have to live with the fact that I’ve failed at my dream of becoming a published author.
With the rise of self-publishing, my dream is actually completely doable. I don’t need to grovel at the feet of a publishing house anymore. The only thing standing in my way is me.
To Defeat Impostor Syndrome, Have a Plan
I know what my goal is and I know that it’s within reach. But impostor syndrome is sucking the life out of me and damaging my motivation. How do I overcome it? The way to get through it is to define my goal, make it attainable, and then have a plan. If I work through the plan, I will reach my goal. And if I can attain that goal, then I can reap the benefits of feeling like I at least accomplished something hard.
My Plan to Defeat Impostor Syndrome
I’m going to finish and publish my first book. Seems so simple, right? I probably should have finished it before starting the second book so that I could get it off my mind and stop worrying about whether people will read it or not. It’ll be like ripping the band-aid off, so to speak.
That means that I’ll be signing off of NaNoWriMo for this year. Am I disappointed? Yeah, but it wasn’t going well anyway. Hopefully once I have my first book sorted out, I’ll be able to jump into my own little writing month later.
Stay tuned! And good luck in your own writing adventures!
